Sometimes I Have to Water Myself

I spent years hoping someone would see I was parched. I whispered my needs, softened my voice, and made myself small—hoping someone would notice I was running on empty. That love would show up and pour into me.

There’s a quiet truth I’ve learned during recovery: sometimes, I am both the garden and the gardener.

This short reel captures one of the quietest, most powerful moments of my recovery—choosing to pour into myself when no one else could. Watch the full video below, then read the reflection that inspired it.

I spent years hoping someone would see I was parched. I whispered my needs, softened my voice, and made myself small—hoping someone would notice I was running on empty. That love would show up and pour into me.

But healing doesn’t always arrive through someone else’s hands.

There are days I walk outside, neck brace on, heart heavy, body aching… and I water my plants. Slowly. Silently. Tenderly. And in that moment, I realize—I’m really watering myself.

I’m showing up for myself.
I’m choosing softness.
I’m making space for peace.

This is what rising looks like when no one is clapping.
It’s what healing sounds like when the world is loud, but you choose quiet anyway.

If you’re in a season of becoming, I hope you remember: the most beautiful things grow in silence.

Even you.

💭 Journal Prompt:
Where in your life have you been waiting for someone else to pour into you? How can you begin to water yourself today?

👉🏾 This reflection pairs with the Healing Through Reinvention journal prompt “Pouring from a Full Cup”—available now inside the Watch Me Rise Journal.

Take your time.
Breathe through it.
And if you’re ready, write your way through it.

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Deryl Richardson Deryl Richardson

They Saw Me. They Looked Away. I kept Rising.

A personal reflection on what it means to rise even when you're unseen. This post explores the discomfort others may feel in the face of your healing—and why your journey still matters. For anyone who's ever felt overlooked, this is your reminder: you're still rising. #WatchMeRise

Some people saw me—but they chose to look away.

A personal reflection on what it means to rise even when you're unseen. This post explores the discomfort others may feel in the face of your healing—and why your journey still matters. For anyone who's ever felt overlooked, this is your reminder: you're still rising. #WatchMeRise

Maybe my healing was too loud for their silence. Maybe my growth made them uncomfortable. Maybe the version of me that was learning to speak up, set boundaries, and shine was too unfamiliar for those who were comfortable with the older, quieter version of me.

But I didn’t stop. I won’t stop. I didn’t shrink. I won’t shrink.

I kept rising. And I will continue to rise.

This journey—this healing, this becoming—isn't just about reclaiming my voice. It's about rewriting the rules of how I allow others to treat me. It’s about honoring the parts of me I used to hide, water down, or silence for the comfort of others.

This post isn’t just about me. It’s a reminder for anyone who’s ever felt unseen, overlooked, or unsupported:

You’re still rising.

Even when they pretend not to see you. Even when they don't clap. Even when your growth makes others uncomfortable.

You are still rising.

And that matters.

Join me on this journey. Subscribe to receive exclusive reflections, digital tools, and updates from the heart:

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#WatchMeRise

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When Friendship Fails the Test

Some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. Here’s what I learned when silence spoke louder than words. #WatchMeRise

By Deryl Richardson

There’s something I’ve learned during recovery that hits harder than the pain itself: what people say when you’re in crisis—and what they actually do—are rarely the same.

So many people say, “You’re in my thoughts and prayers,” and honestly, that’s good enough. It’s kind. It’s real. It’s human.

But what’s not okay is when people say more than they mean.
“Let me know what you need.”
“I got you.”
“You know I’m here.”

But when I did let them know… nothing. No follow-through. No check-ins. No help. Just excuses or worse–silence.That’s not kindness. That’s character exposure.

Distance should never be an excuse for absence.
If you claim someone as a friend, and they tell you they need support—even if they’re in a different city—you show up in whatever way you can. That’s what friendship is. You don’t add disclaimers like, “If you were in my city, I’d help.” No, you wouldn’t. If convenience is your condition, that’s not friendship. That’s performance.

The truth is, some people were never really friends to begin with. They were just familiar faces in familiar places. But healing exposes that. Silence exposes that. Recovery makes it impossible to pretend.

This season has revealed something powerful:
I used to think friendship was about proximity. But now I know—it’s about presence. And presence isn’t about being in the room. It’s about being in someone’s life when it matters most.

I’m not bitter. I’m better.
Better because I see clearly now.
Better because I finally stopped excusing people who didn’t show up.
Better because I know what real support feels like—and what it doesn’t.

This is part of the rise.
This is how I reclaim my peace.
Not with anger, but with clarity.

So to those who disappeared: I release you.
And to those who stayed: thank you.
This story is mine now.
And I’m telling it—out loud.

#WatchMeRise

In this video, filmed during the early days of my ACDF recovery, I spoke candidly about the disconnect between what people say and what they actually do—especially when you’re hurting. It’s easy to offer kind words. But showing up? That takes character.

This moment wasn’t just about disappointment. It was about clarity. About learning the difference between proximity and presence. About letting go of people who only offer love when it’s convenient.

Let this be a mirror. Ask yourself: when someone you care about needs you, do you show up? Or do you disappear?

#WatchMeRise

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