When Friendship Fails the Test
By Deryl Richardson
There’s something I’ve learned during recovery that hits harder than the pain itself: what people say when you’re in crisis—and what they actually do—are rarely the same.
So many people say, “You’re in my thoughts and prayers,” and honestly, that’s good enough. It’s kind. It’s real. It’s human.
But what’s not okay is when people say more than they mean.
“Let me know what you need.”
“I got you.”
“You know I’m here.”
But when I did let them know… nothing. No follow-through. No check-ins. No help. Just excuses or worse–silence.That’s not kindness. That’s character exposure.
Distance should never be an excuse for absence.
If you claim someone as a friend, and they tell you they need support—even if they’re in a different city—you show up in whatever way you can. That’s what friendship is. You don’t add disclaimers like, “If you were in my city, I’d help.” No, you wouldn’t. If convenience is your condition, that’s not friendship. That’s performance.
The truth is, some people were never really friends to begin with. They were just familiar faces in familiar places. But healing exposes that. Silence exposes that. Recovery makes it impossible to pretend.
This season has revealed something powerful:
I used to think friendship was about proximity. But now I know—it’s about presence. And presence isn’t about being in the room. It’s about being in someone’s life when it matters most.
I’m not bitter. I’m better.
Better because I see clearly now.
Better because I finally stopped excusing people who didn’t show up.
Better because I know what real support feels like—and what it doesn’t.
This is part of the rise.
This is how I reclaim my peace.
Not with anger, but with clarity.
So to those who disappeared: I release you.
And to those who stayed: thank you.
This story is mine now.
And I’m telling it—out loud.
#WatchMeRise